The importance of keeping a relationship between both parents and children after divorce

But co-parenting amicably with your ex can give your children the stability, security, and close relationships with both parents they need. With these tips, you can remain calm, stay consistent, and resolve conflicts to make joint custody work and enable your kids to thrive. Research suggests that the quality of the relationship between co-parents can also have a strong influence on the mental and emotional well-being of children, and the incidence of anxiety and depression.

The importance of keeping a relationship between both parents and children after divorce

Child maintenance Why contact with both parents is important after separating Divorce and separation are major life changing events for the adults involved but they can also be very hurtful and stressful events in the lives of children.

Whether unmarried or married, lesbian, gay or heterosexual, many couples with children come to a point in their lives where a decision is to be made to end a relationship. It is hard to predict the impact of the family breakdown on everyone involved but more often than not there is a degree of hurt felt by the parents and children alike.

It is easy for others to offer advice about the best way to approach this and trying to be amicable is best for all. However, this is not always easily done because of deeply held emotions that may feel raw at the time. Ending the relationship does not mean an end to the parental relationship that adults have with their children.

Although you may think that the decision to break up suggests the end of conflict in a relationship, conflict often continues as you try to sort out arrangements around children, money and housing.

Disagreements may continue but the way that they are approached can make a difference to the way that your children experience the break up.

What is co-parenting?

What works for one family may not necessarily work for another. You might also need to consider what sort of contact is appropriate - this could be direct contact where the child sees the non-resident parent, or indirect contact via calls or letters.

Working out contact arrangements Working out contact arrangements can be a difficult thing to do especially if there is still resentment between parents.

However, the child's feelings should be the focal point in driving forward these arrangements as amicably as possible. There are two routes that can be taken when arranging contact - you can opt for a formal or informal arrangement.

If you choose an informal arrangement, there can be a degree of flexibility but it requires commitment and consistency from both parents. You could ask a mutual friend or family member to help facilitate the arrangements so they can be worked out amicably and fairly.

This will also help to ensure the focus is kept on contact arrangements rather than drifting into other issues. It might also be helpful to write the agreed contact arrangements down and keep a record of this.

If you choose a formal arrangement, this could be either voluntary mediation or perhaps through a court order. This can be a very expensive route to take but the circumstances surrounding the family breakdown may require this.

It can also take a lot of time and patience. If you choose to take things formally, it is important to get a recommended lawyer who specialises in family law.

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It is important to seek advice from impartial organisations too. New partner, new family? When you find a new partner, you might feel as if it would be easier to start afresh as a new family if contact with your ex is difficult or makes you uncomfortable.

As far as your children are concerned, your ex is one of a kind and they would feel lost if all ties were cut. You can stop being a partner but you can never stop being a parent. Your new partner may be a good carer but they cannot replace a parent. You can be a happy and strong family at the same time as letting your children keep in touch with a parent who doesn't live with them.

You can also share experiences and advice with other parents on our Forums. Family Lives is here for you and you can contact us about any family issue, big or small. What do you think of our website?But co-parenting amicably with your ex can give your children the stability, security, and close relationships with both parents they need.

The importance of keeping a relationship between both parents and children after divorce

For the sake of your kids’ well-being, it is possible for you to overcome co-parenting challenges and develop a cordial working relationship with your ex. Most psychologists recognize the importance of keeping both parents actively involved in their children’s lives.

But some draw the line when it comes to young children. “When parents are able to do this effectively, we see a reduction of acting out, angry behavior and emotional problems with children of divorced parents -- especially teens,” says Walfish.

School The changes that occur as a result of divorce can make it difficult for your child to adjust, cope and heal. Why contact with both parents is important after separating Divorce and separation are major life changing events for the adults involved but they can also be .

Sometimes, when a family is going through a major change (for example, a divorce, a death in the family, or a move), a parent-child relationship can look disorganized for a short time. It usually lasts only as long as the situation does. The relationship between the parents including, but not limited to, whether the parents can effectively communicate with one another and their willingness to put the needs of their children above their own when it comes to encouraging and aiding in the continuance and growth of the bond between the child and the other parent; and.

Parenting after separation or divorce - Partnership For Children